I′ve got a ninety-dollar house in a trillion-dollar city
Workin' for the man, and he never shows pity
I got a voice of an angel, a million-dollar look
I feel a witty bitty on a big freakin′ hook
If you judge a man by the shoes that he wears
I'm sharp and shiny, stealin' all the stares
If you judge a man by the girl in his car
I′m smooth as a criminal and bright as a star
Vote me, choke me, invite me in your games
Better lookin′ than Trace Adkins
And more famous than Jesse James
Add me, delete me, it's control at your fingertips
I got rock-hard abs and guns straight from the battleship
I sure am glad I gave this internet a try
Life is good when you′re swappin' lives
I got the world′s dumbest smartphone type and I'm a millionaire
I got a Wal-Mart fan that wobbles through the air
Got a chain on my wallet and a mullet on my head
A poodle named Pixie and a beagle named Fred
I got two thousand friends, most I never met
A forty-foot yacht and a sixty-three vet, you bet
That is, I′m an out-of-work painter living off the state
I'm the next big thing, yeah, I'm just that great
Vote me, choke me, yeah, that′s my real name
Sexier than Kitty Chesney, a monster with no shame
Add me, delete me, the power given to you
By tiny men with big brains with nothing better to do
I sure am glad I gave this internet a try
Life is easy when you′re swappin' lives
I got service in a mansion but the house is on wheels
Twelve-inch TV watching the killbillies of Beverly Hills
Got a six-color flannel bed and I can land planes
All my whites have some kind of stain, mostly self-made
I got a six-movie deal and I shoot next week
Three unlucky squirrels will be layin′ at my feet
I'm a disco dancer with moves that will make you melt
I′m a kung fu kangaroo with a triple black belt
Love me, choke me, no need to unfriend
I'm funnier than Charlie Sheen
My profile is where the fun begins
Add me, delete me, but believe in what I say
I′m the richest, best lookin', most buff
From a bustin' fast car, drivin′ sweet gal
Kissin′ supermodel, lovin' country, hopin′ limousine
Live to Grammy, winnin' country, singin′
Time Magazine Man of the Year, at least for today
Tomorrow might be a pill-poppin', head-bangin′ Camaro
Stealin' bandana, wearin' rebel flag, wavin′ ass
Kickin′ God-fearin', dog-lovin′, woman-shreddin'
Music producer, Justin Beiber, loving will and fortune
Watching son of a gun but its all in fun
I′ve got a ninety-dollar house in a trillion-dollar city
Workin' for the man, and he never shows pity
